so i had a long weekend.
it started with friday. went to the show but that took a while seeing as i got in a fight with caroline and kenny. wtf i mean i fuckign love caroline. we always go to fucking shows together. and cause kenny didnt want a lot of people in his car we got into a fight? that shit didnt have to go down like that. so went to the show and saw all my homiess. especially pattycakes. idk whats goign on with him. he seemed pretty into me for like..2 days? hahaha we tlaked and everything. we got along well. we're both attractive. what the hell is the fucking problem? oh yeah i think he has a god damn girlfriend. idk he says he doesnt but im thinking their back together or something. fucking asshole. ugh this shit is always happening. idk. oh and saturday was samms birthday. poor girl had a god damn anxiety attack and was throwing up in the toilet for about 15 minutes. she was shaking and everything. so i just tried to calm her down. oh then i ate and apple and had an allergic reaction. yeah...never eating an apple again.



fact of day: never crush on a boy if youre not possitive that hes single. he'll fuck you over. oh and dont eat apples.

im waiting in: the sun room
i feel so: cranky
my ears are filled with: CDC

so i really really realyl am a fucking idiot. i was doing everything wrong the whole time. i had the wrong signs and everything. i was into pat from the start, basically ever since i first saw him...then i thought he had a girlfriend and was just giving his number out cause hes a jerk who cheats on his girlfried..i didnt really wanna have anything to do with that so i tried getting to know someone else. who i didint even look at when i met them the first time. i just thought that since he was pats friend that hes gotta be as cool as him...so then me and that kid dont work out but it didnt even bother me i mean i was just talking to him to get to know him. but then i finally talk to pat about everything and he thought i was just going back and forth from guy to guy when really pat was into me the whole time. and hasnt had a girlfriend since the day i got his number. and i feel like a faggot cause i shouldnt have assumed things. and i should have just moved on so fast without getting the real deal. idk but im gonna fix everything now. im gonna take everything slow. im gonna get to know the right person and im gonna fix it. im goonnna fix it alll!



fact of day: dont assume you fucking jerks

im waiting in: the sun room
i feel so: relieved
my ears are filled with: brand new

mmmmm getting drunk at staciis is kinda like..getting drunk by myself. everyones going different places and damn. taylor with her god damn superman suit. and kenman wrting bulletins in my myspace about cock and caroline and me sitting in a room alone while everyone else is in the hallway drunk and people who i went to school with last year who graduated coming up to me saying " i know weve never talked but i always wanted to introduce myself" ywa great night...until the fucking cops came. they can suck my dick. no one was even that bad...even though when i tried running out the back door with a beer in my hand the lady cop cunt bitch told me to shut the door and get back in. it was supposed to be my first run from the cops and instead i did what she said and sat down...hahaha. she had a gun what was i supposed to do??? anyways. the cops didint do anything. just swore at like 40+ people and to everyone to go the fuck hommeeee. i loved that fact that one of the cops was my D.A.R.E program teacher in the 5th grade, i wanted to say hi but i dont think it was the right time....ha well i gotz work now. 10 - 4...good times!!@!!@!@




fact of day: dont go to the bathroom when your drunk just in case someone took a shit or is peeing in the shower....

im waiting in: the sunrom
i feel so: geeky
my ears are filled with: brand new

yea so it was def super hot oday and i had to work for about 7 hours. fuck that shit mannn. oh well cause I HAVE TOMORROW OFFF!!! YEAHH!!!! um and fuck boys. i seriously tried toget to know someone. and its not really what they wanted. OH WELL! theres other fishies in the sea.




fact of day: realize mistakes before their about to happen.

im waiting in: the sun room
i feel so: annoyed
my ears are filled with: the early november

yea, if it wasnt for my friends id probably be dead at this point. i wanna take this time to thank every person who has EVER in my lifeee helped me when i was drunk. im feeling the after effects right now. it was fun last night. i smoked out of a bong for the first time in my whole life. im probably never gonna do it again but i guess it was ok just to experience it...haha. pat and dan came. gosh those are some good kids. they hardly know me and they still helped out. dan seems like a sweetheart, and i know im not the type to just be like hey lets go hang out sometime but i think i might just take chances for now on, he seems like the type of boy id wanna get to know. plus he didnt hate me when i was drunk.?

oh and i love my friends. stacii. you are love babydoll<3


fact of day: dont drink tequilla, dont drink bong water, dont let people get away and love life.

im waiting in: the sunroom
i feel so: thankful
my ears are filled with: hey there delilah

yea. so i basically worked all day today. fucking 2-8 and tomorrow im fucking 3-9??? wtffff@#@#@ ugh idk but hopefully i get to a party tomorrow night! i could use a few beers in my system. this week has sucked. except when i was with my stacii baby!



fact of day: make sure you know how to count your change back to your customers.

im waiting in: the sunroom
i feel so: calm
my ears are filled with: nothing

so after seeing pirates of the caribbean 2 ive come to sit here and write another entry cause theres not much left to do at a time this late.


people are weird. or im just weird.

i miss having a mullet. and im miss being a freshman and not worrying about anything. i miss having to beg my mom to bring me home from sleepovers because i forgot my doll. i miss life and im stuck at an age where nothing ever works out ok. it seems everyones going different ways but im the only one who has a plan....so it seems.


oh. && theres this boy. i dont even know why im wasting my time.



fact of day: bring sweaters to movie theaters. youre gonna need it when youre cold.

im waiting in: sun room
i feel so: curious
my ears are filled with: the early november

yes. at staciis and what was supposed to be a wonderful day turned into a cloudy slow day of nothinggg. i swear that one of these days i will get to the beach with all of my lovers.


fact for day: dont heat hot fudge in the microwave then touch it with your finger.

i love how life has its way of working. you never know what youre gonna have put in front of you each day or maybe even second. im falling into a weird state of mind where lack of love ruins my desire to even want it. the things he did are only one persons disaster so why make myself go through it all again one day to come. its because no one can live without love for if they do, a life of missery follows behind them.........





fact for day: you dont need people, they need you.

i feel so: worried
my ears are filled with: relient k

yea ive def come to realize this being alone thing is really getting to me. god damnit. where is that one boy whos gonna fucking stick around??? lately theyve all been a bunch of faggots hoping ill sex them or something. uh no. its one thing to be with someone and its another to not.